High Income Is Loud. Wealth Is Quiet.

Hey {{first_name|Reader}}.

I felt like writing an essay after last week’s poll results. Something from the heart that has been on my mind for a while now. So I figured I should write it down instead of thinking about it. So here it is!

High income is loud. Wealth is quiet. That’s the tension in which this whole article lives. The difference between making a lot of money and actually being wealthy.

Let’s dive in.

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Your kids will grow up seeing people who look rich everywhere. Big houses. Luxury SUVs. Spring break trips in places they can’t pronounce or can’t find on a map. Everyone looks like they’re “doing well.” But here’s the part nobody teaches them in school: if that big income all gets spent on payments, upgrades, and “we deserved this,” there’s nothing left at the end of the year. That’s not wealth. It’s just your money going to other people.

Income is how fast money flows into your life. Wealth is the freedom to do what you want, when you want, without asking permission. A family making a huge salary but saving nothing is fragile; a family making less but consistently saving and investing is quietly becoming unbreakable over time. (Check out this content creator who talks about living below your means. It’s a my wiiiife)

Here’s the sentence to summarize this entire essay: the people you think are rich because they make a lot of money probably have a lower net worth than you… 🤯

Both of my parents grew up poor. They did what everyone tells you to do: go to college, get good jobs, make good money. And it worked. They went from “counting every dollar” to “let’s spend some money.” So they did the natural thing when you’ve never had money before: they upgraded everything.

New cars. Big house. Trips. If you just froze the frame there, most people would say, “They made it.” They had income. But income and wealth are not the same thing.

At some point, something changed. They started maxing out Roth IRAs. They saved and invested real money instead of just upgrading their lifestyle. Combined with stable jobs and decent economic conditions, they crossed an invisible line: they stopped just making money and started actually becoming wealthy. Same people. Same careers. Completely different behavior. I’m not quite sure what changed, but in my mind, it was the thought of not wanting to work until the day they die.

So much of this game is not about how much you make. It’s what you do once you start making “enough.”

My wife and I were no better at the beginning. Right out of college, we both had pretty good jobs. She was a new Army officer. I was a fresh MBA with a solid role. We finally had adult paychecks and exactly zero experience handling them. Dual income.

So, of course, we bought new cars.

We could afford the payments, so in our heads, that meant we could afford the cars. A few years later, we did it again—traded them in and bought new cars. Nothing catastrophic happened. We didn’t go bankrupt. But looking back, it was stupid. We were burning future freedom for the privilege of “feeling successful” in the parking lot.

Years later, it looks very different. We buy used cars. We’ve almost completely stopped going out to eat. We automate our savings and both max out our Roth IRAs every year. We haven’t suddenly become perfect with money but we stopped pretending car payments and dinners out were a personality.

Once you see it, you can’t unsee it. There’s a particular kind of person who clearly makes good money but radiates “I am not actually wealthy” energy.

You probably know them:

(wealth is heavily concentrated to a small slice of the population)

On the surface, it looks impressive. But deep down, a lot of those people are barely ahead. They’ve allowed every raise, every promotion, every deployment check to immediately translate into more lifestyle and more payments.

Quiet wealth looks very different:

A huge trap for dual‑income professional families with kids is simple: using children as an excuse for lifestyle creep. “We need a giant SUV for the one kid.” “We must redo the kitchen for the kids.” “We can’t possibly say no to this activity, trip, or upgrade because…kids.” Kids do not need a third‑row, $70k SUV to be okay. They need you not to be stressed and stretched to the breaking point.

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After a big win, my dad used to say, “Act like you’ve been here before.” Don’t over‑celebrate. Don’t showboat. Appreciate it, enjoy it, but carry yourself like this isn’t the last good thing that will ever happen to you.

There’s an “old money” version of that.

New money behavior is:

Old money behavior is quieter. They may have similar things—a nice house, good cars, quality stuff—but they don’t need the world to clap every time they swipe a card. They act like they’ve been here before. Because they have. Or at least, they’re trying to behave like the version of themselves who has.

A lot of people grow up poor, finally get money, and simply don’t know how to act with it. They’re new to the feeling and terrified it will disappear, so they squeeze every ounce of visible status they can from every dollar. The problem is, that’s exactly what keeps them poor.

If you want to break that cycle, you have to behave today like the “old money” version of yourself you’re trying to become. Make purchases like someone who has nothing to prove.

Here’s where the rubber meets the Rolex.

I don’t wear and love my Rolex to flex. I bought an Explorer II, which is probably the oddest, least obvious watch in the modern lineup. To most people, it’s just a steel watch. Which is great.

When I look at it, I don’t see status. I see the pain, sweat, time, and tradeoffs it took to get there. It makes me feel legitimately good when I see it on my wrist. Like I just cracked open a White Monster. And unlike a car, it’s something that, at worst, holds value—and at best, slowly appreciates.

A few weeks ago, a kid once came up to me and said, completely serious, that because I wasn’t wearing an Apple Watch, I must be poor.

Nailed it, kiddo. They had no idea what I was actually wearing. I like it that way.

To me, high income is like a smartwatch. It’s constantly buzzing, demanding attention, pushing more data, more notifications, more everything. Real wealth is like a simple mechanical watch. Quiet. Intentional. Doing its job in the background while you live your life.

Do I worry that writing about Rolex conflicts with a “quiet wealth” message? Honestly, yeah, sometimes I do. But my message is not “never buy anything nice.” It’s “pursue intentional wealth.” I love watches. I refuse to finance them. If you cannot afford to buy it outright, it is not for you yet. There is a massive difference between a single, carefully chosen luxury you can truly afford and spending every dollar you have just because you have it.

If I woke up tomorrow and we had “enough,” not internet‑guru enough but genuinely enough, here’s what I’d do:

Notice what doesn’t change: chasing more, more, more stuff just to show off. The upgrades are about buying back time and energy, not flexing.

For me, the three ingredients of a wealthy life are:

That’s why the dream isn’t “stop working.” It’s “stop spending my life doing what someone else tells me to do with my time and attention.”

Here’s the part that frustrates and motivates me: once you have money, it really is easier to make more money. I know, I know. You may be saying, “Ian, that’s not fair! Some people start with more money than others!” Here’s my opinion, if everyone on earth had their net worth reset to the same number tomorrow, within a few years, a lot of the same people who were wealthy before would be wealthy again. A lot of the same people who were broke before would be broke again.

Not because of fate. Because of behavior.

People who understand saving, investing, and delayed gratification will use that reset to quietly buy assets, build buffers, and avoid temptations. People who don’t will sprint back to the same patterns: toys, status, validation, and debt. That’s why the “own assets, not toys” mantra matters so much.

Assets rarely look sexy on social media. Stocks, retirement accounts, paid‑off debt, and simple rentals do not get you as many likes as the new truck, the luxury vacation, or the kitchen remodel. But toys keep you poor when they come at the expense of ownership. Assets give you options. Toys give other people proof that you used to have money.

Imagine a junior enlisted soldier, a young city employee, and a high‑earning tech professional all reading this.

The advice is the same:

In the last 12 months, the most important “wealth move” my family made was simple: we started investing heavily instead of just saving, and we automated those investments. The money moves without us having to think about it. It’s boring. And boring is where wealth is built.

If you tell me, “I just want to make a lot of money,” here’s the uncomfortable truth: it takes a long-ass time. It takes hard work and discipline to do smart things for years while seeing only small results. You have to keep walking the path long after the initial excitement wears off. Along the way, it is okay—healthy, even—to intentionally reward yourself a few times. But make sure those rewards fit inside your plan instead of blowing it up.

Making a lot of money is loud. True wealth is quiet. Choose which one you actually want—and then start acting like you’ve been there before.

Making a lot of money is not the finish line. It is just the starting line for a whole new set of decisions. Most people use a higher income to upgrade their lifestyle; a few use it to quietly buy back their time, lower their stress, and build something that outlives them. The difference isn’t luck. It’s behavior.

If you remember nothing else from this essay, remember this: income is how fast money comes in, but wealth is the freedom to act like you have been here before. Spend less than you make. Own assets, not toys. Let your life, not your purchases, be the flex. High income is loud; true wealth is quiet.

Like this? Send it to a friend and help spread the word. See you next time!

—Ian